I DO!

Recently I rejoined Facebook, where I was MIA for atleast a year. I got back on to discover that many of my FB followers were pregnant, engaged or married. Being a non-traditional woman a question arose. Does marriage have satisfying results?

I should first say that in no means do I hate, despise or feel any type of way toward people who are married; having grown up in a household with both parents. However, my mind wanders to the extent of it just being a final solution.

I almost feel like many women press the issue of commitment on their mate so hard that he is forced into marriage. This theory has yet to be researched or tested but it is up for discussion.

Is marriage only for the sake of outsiders looking in? Should we really live our lives searching for “the one” who then later ends up being the “wrong” one.

I have too many friends and have heard numerous stories of women that pray for a certain type of man and God provided them with just that. Lacking the real qualities that will keep the relationship strong. Are we constantly modeling and acting out of consumerism that we want what we want now, including people? How low can we go?

One of my guy friends expressed that he is “pro-arranged marriage.” This concept could work in America as many close friends are having opposite sex children at the same time. We brainwash children in other ways so why not this one. Only this factor may or may not eliminate the feeling of love.

Ultimately, is marriage a huge government profit and control system? I’m not against the entire marriage idea more so wondering what are the benefits? In what world should we spend sometimes all of our money on ONE day so that hundreds of other people can know my soulmate and I decided we work for each other? LOL

Interesting enough, 9/10 in the “Black community”, the dating goes on for more than 5 years until a guy says he’s ready. Lets not count all of the cheating and insecurities that happen in between. When compared to other cultures it takes at minimum 1 ½  years for him to commit fully to his spouse. I believe it’s because they recognize the partnership aspect of marriage outside of the “love” and physical attraction.

Women often times get emotions involved in everything. Relying on facts of knowing his parents, received a few gifts or just afraid of starting over as proof that they belong together. Ignoring the fact that most of these actions happened because he felt pressured or forced.

It’s evident that many people are afraid of commitment because it makes them feel like that’s it and there’s nothing more to look forward to. I guess if you spend your life savings on one day there won’t be anything to look forward to besides working.

Is marriage a last resort…is it all it’s hyped up to be, or is it hyped at all. I may play it safe and leave marriage and other constructions to the weak.

 

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